Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Obama's Presidential Appointments
Well, I had a slight glimmer of hope that Barak Obama would change the neoliberal trend in the USA and move away from having a cabinet full of stiffs and cronies. However, my hopes were crushed when he selected Hillary Clinton as his nominee for Sec. of State. I cannot believe that I am saying this, but I think I have more in common with Condi Rice than Ms. Clinton. While this crushed me, I was flabbergasted when I heard he wanted Sanjay Gupta to be the Surgeon General. Yes, Sanjay Gupta from CNN and "Paging Dr. Gupta." Now, I realize that the Surgeon General is not a critical position, but the USA faces major credibility issues in the world after 16 years of ineptitude from Clinton and Bush2. Anyway, I decided, in honor of this great choice of Dr. Gupta, to create a list of other celebrity cabinet positions and justifications to be made for their nomination. Maybe Tyra can look into her crystal ball to help him out?
Sec. of State: Matt Lauer
Justification-- he does that cool where in the world is Matt Lauer bit on the Today show and has been all over the world.
Sec. of Interior: Paige Davis
Justification-- she really knows a lot about interiors and remodeling. That's what this office is about, right?
Sec. of Treasury: Suze Orman
Justification-- she's on TV and talks a lot about money and credit.
Sec. of Health and Human Services: Dr. Phil McGraw
Justification-- Oprah told me so
Sec. of Defense: Rex Ryan, Defensive Coordinator of Baltimore Ravens
Justification-- Would he come with Ray Lewis and Ed Reed?
Sec. of Justice: Nancy Grace
Justification-- Uh, duh; she has her own show???
Sec. of Agriculture: Willie Nelson
Justification-- His bus runs on biodeisel and he grows things on it.
Sec. of Labor: Donald Trump
Justification-- Our economy is so bad, we need someone who can fire people well.
Sec. of Transportation: Howie Long
Justification-- He's on those ads that run during the BCS that Obama wants to change
Dept. of Housing and Urban Dev.: Ty Pennington
Justification-- Simple people, he builds houses on TV!
Dept of Energy: T. Boone Pickens
Justification-- Those TV commercials were great about wind power. Hey, what ever happened to those? I guess the problem is solved? What was the problem anyway?
Dept of Homeland Security: Lou Dobbs
Justification-- How can this be explained any further, he talks about this stuff on TV!